I think the fear is that it's dangerous. The way of life you have embraced is too dangerous. Even to discuss it would be to allow that somehow some small slice of it might be holy and that would change everything. Up would become down, east west, dogs and cats living together, utter chaos. So the weird thing is that the institution isn't necessarily wired to approve and support all holiness, only all traditionally ratified behavior. So you get approved behavior that is unholy and unapproved behavior that is holy. I'm not sure we know how to be the church beyond those boundaries, because if tradition is made optional (I mean if that which is tradition-approved is made optional) then what holds us together? Oddly enough it may be that all boundaries and identities are illusions and we're all just people playing make-believe as if money were anything, nations were anything, gender were anything, membership were anything, etc. "It's the end of all master narratives" my friend in seminary said of Post Modernism. No one utters that phrase any more--post modernism--but it keeps poking up its head. This is the 500 year rummage sale we expected. Everything is up for grabs. We may yet end up a church built on nothing... nothing but the good stuff that you find in the moment. Like love.
Kerlin - You may not remember me, as I was a part-time student at GTS, during your time there. I'm so sorry for all the hurt you are experiencing. Keep writing! Deacon Denise LaVetty
Reading this makes my heart glad. The world — and the Episcopal Church — without your voice is a less vibrant, less creative, less growing-into-the-fullness-of-the-Body-of-Christ-which-brings-healing-and-wholeness-to-the-world (as dubious as that may sound and feel sometimes) place to live and minister. And, those who do the heavy lifting and shifting and sharing cannot be left to do so unceasingly and without rest, refreshment, and support. I am so glad you are taking the time you need. I am so glad you continue to lift up your heart.
I think the fear is that it's dangerous. The way of life you have embraced is too dangerous. Even to discuss it would be to allow that somehow some small slice of it might be holy and that would change everything. Up would become down, east west, dogs and cats living together, utter chaos. So the weird thing is that the institution isn't necessarily wired to approve and support all holiness, only all traditionally ratified behavior. So you get approved behavior that is unholy and unapproved behavior that is holy. I'm not sure we know how to be the church beyond those boundaries, because if tradition is made optional (I mean if that which is tradition-approved is made optional) then what holds us together? Oddly enough it may be that all boundaries and identities are illusions and we're all just people playing make-believe as if money were anything, nations were anything, gender were anything, membership were anything, etc. "It's the end of all master narratives" my friend in seminary said of Post Modernism. No one utters that phrase any more--post modernism--but it keeps poking up its head. This is the 500 year rummage sale we expected. Everything is up for grabs. We may yet end up a church built on nothing... nothing but the good stuff that you find in the moment. Like love.
Kerlin - You may not remember me, as I was a part-time student at GTS, during your time there. I'm so sorry for all the hurt you are experiencing. Keep writing! Deacon Denise LaVetty
Reading this makes my heart glad. The world — and the Episcopal Church — without your voice is a less vibrant, less creative, less growing-into-the-fullness-of-the-Body-of-Christ-which-brings-healing-and-wholeness-to-the-world (as dubious as that may sound and feel sometimes) place to live and minister. And, those who do the heavy lifting and shifting and sharing cannot be left to do so unceasingly and without rest, refreshment, and support. I am so glad you are taking the time you need. I am so glad you continue to lift up your heart.
Hope you keep writing.
Fwiw, from where I sit it’s clear that you are still lifting hearts - not just your own. Love to you and yours.
Do you and Nadia Bolz Weber know each other ?
(((hugs)))
Sursum corda indeed, Kerlin. A truly sacred phrase, very close to my heart and theology.
❤️❤️❤️