Great letter. Thought provoking, challenging, vulnerable, clear….how could the Holy Spirit not be at work here? Will bishops read this? Will they have conversations? Yes. Slowly but surely they will. Peace to and yours Kerlin. I’ll let you know when I’m in Portland again. I still look at your little paintings every day.
Like you, I didn't leave the Episcopal church, it left me. As a pre-natal Episcopalian, I still consider myself to be an apopahtic agnostic Anglican. (My late father was an Episopal priest/sociology professor so I jokingly say so the ecclesiology and the science.) I take small comfort in the fact that my ancestor Roger Williams did likewise by leaving the US Baptist church he founded and called himself a seeker in search of the truth. It's a lonely path as you well know but just know you aren't alone. Peace.
Forgot to add, during Covid all my paid gigs focusing on religion or spirituality either went south or stopped accepting freelancers. The only remaining paid outlet (Spirituality & Health) hasn't accepted my prior posts on sexuality and spirituality so I stopped querying them on that topic. I contribute to a few unpaid outlets on the topic of spiritual narcissism/religious trauma. DM me if you want to be connected to these places should you wish to tell your story in a larger space.
Please know there are so many people who love and support you. The conservative Bishop of Oregon has made other snap decisions without educating herself and praying. You are so filled with love to even examine your motives. Yes, the Bishops who are gathered should pay attention to the reason they are gathering.
Thank God you're not an Episcopal priest anymore. There is absolutely nothing Godly about a polymorous relationship. The Church has rules, and you took a vow in front of God to uphold that vow, don't be surprised when your ticket gets punched for failing to uphold it.
I've read your vlog, and if you truly loved God you would humble yourself in front of Him. Acknowledge your selfish feelings, and stop acting like a martyr.
At least I know that my relationship with my partner is holy, and instituted by God. Just because you decided your promiscuity was an orientation, doesn't mean the Church has to agree to it.
People like you are going to morally bankrupt the Church. We are in a free fall because someone along the way, people decided that in order to follow God's ordinances, we must rubber stamp everything in order for people to feel good.
How are you going to tell your children to be faithful and constant with their relationships, when you live in an open marriage?
Ah. There is still Holy Fire in the Wild Beauty of your voice. Thank you for unsheathing this precious jewel-encrusted sword. Although razor sharp, she only ever serves to reveal Truth and to anoint with Love ~ never ever to harm 🤍
This is so honest, vulnerable, and beautiful. I'm reading everything you're writing with a broken heart for all you've experienced and with the affection and support of someone that is more than what I am, a stranger on the internet.
I want to click that little heart button to encourage and support you letter. And I hesitate because the emoji I want is much more fierce and ferocious, full of teeth and heart, tearing open the wounds that have scabbed over but are still full of gravel and dirt and the bacteria of fear. Wounds too unpleasant for the church leadership to witness or ask about - so in a Title IV container i am sent away to “heal” in isolation. Isolation and estrangement which the church wants to rename: privacy, compassionate distance, disciplinary action, boundaries, and other psycho-piety (thank you Tommy for this very accurate and descriptive word). Until I raise my body into view and it turns out I’m still scary and disobedient. More exile, more judgement, more stripping of my identity and calling me a remorseless and traumatizing presence.
I don’t believe that the institution is worth my energy. My broken heart is open and searching for better partners who can withstand my humanity and my brokenness. I’d set fire to the floorboards of the church institution that is so afraid it would rather thank me for renouncing my vows than grieve with me our broken relationship. But the people… The people I have loved and worked with… I am so sad to be estranged from you. I hope you are not also crushed under the wheel of institutional survival mechanisms.
Great letter. Thought provoking, challenging, vulnerable, clear….how could the Holy Spirit not be at work here? Will bishops read this? Will they have conversations? Yes. Slowly but surely they will. Peace to and yours Kerlin. I’ll let you know when I’m in Portland again. I still look at your little paintings every day.
Like you, I didn't leave the Episcopal church, it left me. As a pre-natal Episcopalian, I still consider myself to be an apopahtic agnostic Anglican. (My late father was an Episopal priest/sociology professor so I jokingly say so the ecclesiology and the science.) I take small comfort in the fact that my ancestor Roger Williams did likewise by leaving the US Baptist church he founded and called himself a seeker in search of the truth. It's a lonely path as you well know but just know you aren't alone. Peace.
Forgot to add, during Covid all my paid gigs focusing on religion or spirituality either went south or stopped accepting freelancers. The only remaining paid outlet (Spirituality & Health) hasn't accepted my prior posts on sexuality and spirituality so I stopped querying them on that topic. I contribute to a few unpaid outlets on the topic of spiritual narcissism/religious trauma. DM me if you want to be connected to these places should you wish to tell your story in a larger space.
Please know there are so many people who love and support you. The conservative Bishop of Oregon has made other snap decisions without educating herself and praying. You are so filled with love to even examine your motives. Yes, the Bishops who are gathered should pay attention to the reason they are gathering.
Oops! I meant “her” motives not your…
Thank God you're not an Episcopal priest anymore. There is absolutely nothing Godly about a polymorous relationship. The Church has rules, and you took a vow in front of God to uphold that vow, don't be surprised when your ticket gets punched for failing to uphold it.
I've read your vlog, and if you truly loved God you would humble yourself in front of Him. Acknowledge your selfish feelings, and stop acting like a martyr.
That is so sweet of you to say. It's a blessing that the church is held in such loving hands as yours.
At least I know that my relationship with my partner is holy, and instituted by God. Just because you decided your promiscuity was an orientation, doesn't mean the Church has to agree to it.
People like you are going to morally bankrupt the Church. We are in a free fall because someone along the way, people decided that in order to follow God's ordinances, we must rubber stamp everything in order for people to feel good.
How are you going to tell your children to be faithful and constant with their relationships, when you live in an open marriage?
“He who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her”
"I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."
Ah. There is still Holy Fire in the Wild Beauty of your voice. Thank you for unsheathing this precious jewel-encrusted sword. Although razor sharp, she only ever serves to reveal Truth and to anoint with Love ~ never ever to harm 🤍
Brilliant and bold.
Yes. This needs to be printed out and distributed to every deputy and bishop. Thank you, Kerlin.
This is so honest, vulnerable, and beautiful. I'm reading everything you're writing with a broken heart for all you've experienced and with the affection and support of someone that is more than what I am, a stranger on the internet.
I want to click that little heart button to encourage and support you letter. And I hesitate because the emoji I want is much more fierce and ferocious, full of teeth and heart, tearing open the wounds that have scabbed over but are still full of gravel and dirt and the bacteria of fear. Wounds too unpleasant for the church leadership to witness or ask about - so in a Title IV container i am sent away to “heal” in isolation. Isolation and estrangement which the church wants to rename: privacy, compassionate distance, disciplinary action, boundaries, and other psycho-piety (thank you Tommy for this very accurate and descriptive word). Until I raise my body into view and it turns out I’m still scary and disobedient. More exile, more judgement, more stripping of my identity and calling me a remorseless and traumatizing presence.
I don’t believe that the institution is worth my energy. My broken heart is open and searching for better partners who can withstand my humanity and my brokenness. I’d set fire to the floorboards of the church institution that is so afraid it would rather thank me for renouncing my vows than grieve with me our broken relationship. But the people… The people I have loved and worked with… I am so sad to be estranged from you. I hope you are not also crushed under the wheel of institutional survival mechanisms.