I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry it happened in the way that it did. I’m especially sorry that those of us who care about you were not able to walk with you on this journey. Prayers for you and yours moving forward and special prayers for your little one.
Dear Kerlin, I am so aggrieved by what the church did to you and what I have seen it do to other wonderful priests for similarly shadowy fear based and unChrist like reasons. It breaks my heart and boils my blood. I am so grateful for your service to the Church that is bigger than any denomination or bureaucracy. Your life is a ministry and a blessing that needs no inistitutional endorsement. I wish you and your family strength as you navigate what I’m sure is a grief and stress filled time.
I’m so angry about this. You have been treated terribly. You’re right about Title IV. It’s used as a weapon not as it is canonically defined as a means for reconciliation. The church’s hypocrisy is shamefully obvious - the bishops’ desperate attempts to keep the world in some kind of 1950’s fantasy about sexuality. So many good-hearted loving people are being betrayed and abused by the church they trusted.
Kurlin, ime here sister!! I know your afraid and this world can be crule!! Ime here sister, I love you and I accept you, just the way you are!! I see you!! Ime here sister!! May God watch over and protect you and your beautiful family!! With love always bettyjo griffiths
Oh sweet sister. My heart breaks for you whose thoughts, gifted words, yes, whose very breathing life has healed so many, brought so many home from the dark, from despair, from alone-ness. The world is upside down and in the breaking of the ground beneath us, hard painful truths are being revealed. I am sorry for your suffering and angered at your abusers served by you so perfectly wildly expertly for so long 💔
I must disagree, however. You are far far away from “the last day I put bread in the out-stretched hands of people who hungered for a taste of how loved they were…” Here you are, nourishing us with Love and Hope and the communion of Faith by hand feeding us Truth. We hunger still and are grateful for your caring presence among us ❤️🩹
I am so very sorry. My heart aches for you. I am so angry at the hypocrisy of a church that proclaims "all are welcome." May you find peace in your relationship with God and may God be with your beautiful family
Reading this, I am weeping--sad., angry, horrified at what the church did to you and your family. We proclaim Love, but still too often slam doors made of rules. I remember meeting you at General Convention in 2009 and mentally referring to you as the EpiscoPunk, sensing that you had a beautiful and exciting new vision of ways to share the Gospel--and you *did*. Although you are no longer a priest, I am sure you still proclaim with your life the message of Love. I am so sorry for what was done to you. Prayers for you and your family.
My blood boils with yours. I hope that your former fellow priests and allies within the Episcopal church will make noise and continue the ruckus until change takes place.
And - I hope I get to meet the newest members of your beautiful family one day soon. 💜
My two husbands (because that’s what they are, regardless of what we can legally put on paper) and I raised four beautiful children together over the years; we, too, were grateful for third parent adoption in Oregon. Our children thrived under the loving care of three parents; by next year all four will have graduated from college. And we, too, have experienced so much of what you describe and have lost beloved faith communities through church processes that I can only describe as hell on earth. We have also lost jobs because of discriminatory behavior (fortunately we were able to walk away instead of being let go). I’m so sorry that you experienced both at the same time. None of what you have experienced is okay, none of it is Christian (at least, not what Christianity should be), and none of it will change until the “good” people who are still in these congregations do something about it other than sending you thoughts and prayers and tut-tutting about how unfortunate it is before going back to their Sunday social hour. We ended up starting our own faith community after several horrible experiences with churches who were too cowardly to offer us the opportunity to attend and serve as our authentic selves.
It’s time to expand those statements of welcome, folks… and to create safety for every kind of loving, committed, beautiful family, in church and everywhere.
Thank you for describing your experience openly. Sending lots of love and empathy your way.
Kerlin, I respect and admire your courage in coming out of the closet with this post. As a pastor myself I have encountered some of the worst violences in the practices of the church: practices so profoundly opposite to what Jesus teaches that the cognitive dissonance itself is like an out of body experience. I’ve also encountered vicious hypocrisy: claims to being one way but behaviours that are completely opposite to the claims. I’m thankful for the blessing of your baby and how you have kept a family together despite the vicious violences of the church. It is particularly ironic the church has punished you like this given the polyamory that was standard practice in Jesus’ time against which Jesus himself never ever spoke.
Prayers that as you go forward, God shows you that you are a blessing in this world, the average person has no idea that the church is full of politics and agendas that aren’t necessarily Christian and loving. Bishops and their power can be the worse. If men can have “ sister wives”, why is it wrong for women to have more than one husband? Besides adjusting to a new baby adjusting to the abuse of the church has put you through the wringer. Thanks for sharing your experience and now allowing us to support your decision and walk with you. I wish you were closer as I know others who would openly welcome your family back into God’s house.
Prayers ascending as you go forward.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry it happened in the way that it did. I’m especially sorry that those of us who care about you were not able to walk with you on this journey. Prayers for you and yours moving forward and special prayers for your little one.
The entire process is carefully designed to isolate and shame, to wear down those who thought they could fight.
Dear Kerlin, I am so aggrieved by what the church did to you and what I have seen it do to other wonderful priests for similarly shadowy fear based and unChrist like reasons. It breaks my heart and boils my blood. I am so grateful for your service to the Church that is bigger than any denomination or bureaucracy. Your life is a ministry and a blessing that needs no inistitutional endorsement. I wish you and your family strength as you navigate what I’m sure is a grief and stress filled time.
Oh, Kerlin. I hate hate that you all went through this. I’ve always heard it was bad, but this is worse than I imagined. Sending you all so much love.
I’m so angry about this. You have been treated terribly. You’re right about Title IV. It’s used as a weapon not as it is canonically defined as a means for reconciliation. The church’s hypocrisy is shamefully obvious - the bishops’ desperate attempts to keep the world in some kind of 1950’s fantasy about sexuality. So many good-hearted loving people are being betrayed and abused by the church they trusted.
Kurlin, ime here sister!! I know your afraid and this world can be crule!! Ime here sister, I love you and I accept you, just the way you are!! I see you!! Ime here sister!! May God watch over and protect you and your beautiful family!! With love always bettyjo griffiths
May you find ways to continue your ministry & find acceptance. I am hopeful & finally understand some of what you’ve been through.
Oh sweet sister. My heart breaks for you whose thoughts, gifted words, yes, whose very breathing life has healed so many, brought so many home from the dark, from despair, from alone-ness. The world is upside down and in the breaking of the ground beneath us, hard painful truths are being revealed. I am sorry for your suffering and angered at your abusers served by you so perfectly wildly expertly for so long 💔
I must disagree, however. You are far far away from “the last day I put bread in the out-stretched hands of people who hungered for a taste of how loved they were…” Here you are, nourishing us with Love and Hope and the communion of Faith by hand feeding us Truth. We hunger still and are grateful for your caring presence among us ❤️🩹
I am so very sorry. My heart aches for you. I am so angry at the hypocrisy of a church that proclaims "all are welcome." May you find peace in your relationship with God and may God be with your beautiful family
Reading this, I am weeping--sad., angry, horrified at what the church did to you and your family. We proclaim Love, but still too often slam doors made of rules. I remember meeting you at General Convention in 2009 and mentally referring to you as the EpiscoPunk, sensing that you had a beautiful and exciting new vision of ways to share the Gospel--and you *did*. Although you are no longer a priest, I am sure you still proclaim with your life the message of Love. I am so sorry for what was done to you. Prayers for you and your family.
I’m impressed and admiring of you for living what you believe — and creating a family that can be this strong. You’re amazing!!
I’m so sorry to hear this update, but nothing but love and support for you and yours. The Episcopal Church has lost one of the best!
My blood boils with yours. I hope that your former fellow priests and allies within the Episcopal church will make noise and continue the ruckus until change takes place.
And - I hope I get to meet the newest members of your beautiful family one day soon. 💜
Much, much love to you all.
My two husbands (because that’s what they are, regardless of what we can legally put on paper) and I raised four beautiful children together over the years; we, too, were grateful for third parent adoption in Oregon. Our children thrived under the loving care of three parents; by next year all four will have graduated from college. And we, too, have experienced so much of what you describe and have lost beloved faith communities through church processes that I can only describe as hell on earth. We have also lost jobs because of discriminatory behavior (fortunately we were able to walk away instead of being let go). I’m so sorry that you experienced both at the same time. None of what you have experienced is okay, none of it is Christian (at least, not what Christianity should be), and none of it will change until the “good” people who are still in these congregations do something about it other than sending you thoughts and prayers and tut-tutting about how unfortunate it is before going back to their Sunday social hour. We ended up starting our own faith community after several horrible experiences with churches who were too cowardly to offer us the opportunity to attend and serve as our authentic selves.
It’s time to expand those statements of welcome, folks… and to create safety for every kind of loving, committed, beautiful family, in church and everywhere.
Thank you for describing your experience openly. Sending lots of love and empathy your way.
Kerlin, I respect and admire your courage in coming out of the closet with this post. As a pastor myself I have encountered some of the worst violences in the practices of the church: practices so profoundly opposite to what Jesus teaches that the cognitive dissonance itself is like an out of body experience. I’ve also encountered vicious hypocrisy: claims to being one way but behaviours that are completely opposite to the claims. I’m thankful for the blessing of your baby and how you have kept a family together despite the vicious violences of the church. It is particularly ironic the church has punished you like this given the polyamory that was standard practice in Jesus’ time against which Jesus himself never ever spoke.
Prayers that as you go forward, God shows you that you are a blessing in this world, the average person has no idea that the church is full of politics and agendas that aren’t necessarily Christian and loving. Bishops and their power can be the worse. If men can have “ sister wives”, why is it wrong for women to have more than one husband? Besides adjusting to a new baby adjusting to the abuse of the church has put you through the wringer. Thanks for sharing your experience and now allowing us to support your decision and walk with you. I wish you were closer as I know others who would openly welcome your family back into God’s house.