Defrock-

a new liturgy for losing your ordination-

What if we had a liturgy for losing your ordination?

When I met with the bishop after she had taken some time to think about my disclosure of the shape of my family she asked me if I wanted to stay a priest. When I told her that I did, she said that I would need to return to monogamy. When I said that I couldn’t because we were talking about the shape of my family, the bishop told me I would need to renounce my orders.

It took a year for her to win, but she did. After a year of fighting for a place in the church, I hit send on an email. Her only response was that I had gotten the diocesan address wrong on the form letter. The next day the bishop’s assistant just sent me a pdf of my release and removal.

It was very anticlimactic. Compared to the shout of becoming ordained, becoming un-ordained was a quiet whimper.

I am finding myself wishing for a liturgy for being removed from the priesthood. The church should be willing to say when a thing is over. Back in the middle ages there was a public ceremony when a priest was turned back into a layperson. They would remove the ceremonial garments that had been put on at ordination. They were defrocked and no one was unclear about the former priest’s standing.

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And so, as we do when we want a thing, we make the thing, I have been working on writing a service. I am contemplating celebrating it at some point, perhaps along with other former priests who have been forced out of the church, or maybe just the writing of it is enough.

Here is my draft liturgy :

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We are gathered today to set free N. from their vows of ordination.

Lord, make us instruments of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon;
where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

Dear one, do you believe that you are truly called by God to leave the priesthood?

I believe I am so called.

Do you renounce the church and all of its control over your life?

I renounce it

Do you renounce the doctrines and teachings of the church that seek to police behavior rather than extend compassion and curiosity?

I renounce them

Do you renounce the fear, the shame and the silence that the church used to control you?

I renounce them

Will you be loyal to the Love of God, to compassion and curiosity?

I will and I solemnly declare that I do believe God to be wilder and more holy than the church can contain, and I can no longer conform to the narrow doctrine and discipline of The Episcopal Church that restricts and confines the work of God in the world.

Psalm 139:1-17

LORD, you have searched me out and known me; *
you know my sitting down and my rising up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
You trace my journeys and my resting-places *
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Indeed, there is not a word on my lips, *
but you, O LORD, know it altogether.
You press upon me behind and before *
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; *
it is so high that I cannot attain to it.
Where can I go then from your Spirit? *
where can I flee from your presence?
If I climb up to heaven, you are there; *
if I make the grave my bed, you are there also.
If I take the wings of the morning *
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there your hand will lead me *
and your right hand hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will cover me, *
and the light around me turn to night,"
Darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day; *
darkness and light to you are both alike.
For you yourself created my inmost parts; *
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I will thank you because I am marvelously made; *
your works are wonderful, and I know it well.
My body was not hidden from you, *
while I was being made in secret
and woven in the depths of the earth
Your eyes beheld my limbs, yet unfinished in the womb;
all of them were written in your book; *
they were fashioned day by day,
when as yet there was none of them.
How deep I find your thoughts, O God! *
how great is the sum of them!
If I were to count them, they would be more in number than the sand; *
to count them all, my life span would need to be like yours.

John 8:12-15, 31-32

Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.”  Then the Pharisees said to him, “You are testifying on your own behalf; your testimony is not valid.” Jesus answered, “Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid because I know where I have come from and where I am going, but you do not know where I come from or where I am going. You judge by human standards; I judge no one. … Then Jesus said to the those who had believed in him, “If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”

Sermon

The former priest places their collar and a stole in a box and the presider closes it.
They then wash their hands to remove any last trace of chrism.
The former priest kneels as people come forward to say the following:

We will no longer ask you to preach, to declare God's forgiveness to penitent sinners, to pronounce God's blessing, to share in the administration of Holy Baptism or in the celebration of the mysteries of Christ's Body and Blood, or to perform any other ministrations.

It is no longer your work to proclaim by word and deed the Gospel of Jesus Christ, or to fashion your life in accordance with its precepts only as the church understands them.

For freedom Christ has set you free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

You are now set free from the doctrine, discipline, and worship of Christ limited to how this Church has received them.

You are now set free from the canons of this Church, and obedience to bishops and other ministers who may have had authority over you and your work.

You are now set free from your work as pastor, priest, and teacher.

You are set free from your share in the councils of the Church.

let us pray:

O God of unchangeable power and eternal light: Look favorably on your whole creation, this wonderful and sacred mystery called life; by the effectual working of your providence, carry out in tranquility your plan of healing; let the whole world
see and know that things which were cast down are being raised up, and things which had grown old are being made new, and that all things are being brought to their perfection in the unbounded mystery that is Love. Amen.

Be with N., your beloved child as they venture forth discovering anew their calling in the service of Love.

Go in peace - You are set free.

Thanks be to God.

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