Thank you for this ... I mourn that we struggle to the point of deep wounding and excommunication with the truth that covenants can change as we learn about ourselves ... that a church that is supposedly "all about love" still cannot embody love triumphing over litigiousness. Blessings to you and yours.
Wow. Thank you BOTH for this. I mourn, too. There was a song we sang at guitar mass at the Catholic church I attended in Mill Valley, California. "They'll Know We Are Christians By Our Love." I believe that it is something we aspire, but fall painfully short of too much of the time. It makes what at one time felt like the safest spaces for everyone, feel not so safe after all. The love we sang about was unconditional. I have found that there are conditions after all and it breaks my heart.
Happy anniversary, and thank you so much for continuing to share your story of how you have evolved as an individual and within relationship. Following you has been such a source of support for me personally and as I accompany others. I’m grateful and I hope you celebrate and are celebrated today.
I remember those kids getting married! And I am in awe of your ability to keep your covenant and grow within it. The institution may never catch up - certainly not in our lifetimes - but you and your family are a beacon of light. I am so glad to still know you!
In so so many ways this post registered with me. Richard and I only got married because we had the same last name when we met and (long story) that became very problematic as people assumed we were married. After the "marriage" which include only the officiant and one witness - as we drove away Richard asked if I felt different... I said "nope" he said "me neither". I never wanted a governmental legal contract to define our love or our relationship. Would love to have a Portland coffee date and talk about all this. thanks so much for your honest sharing... including all the hypocrisy associated with Christian "covenants". I go to church because of a love of God... and because the music and many of the rituals are meditative and grounding for me.
Although I remain in the Episcopal Church, I believe that God is Love and Love is God and sanctions the marriage vows you have exchanged both times and all the vows are still valid. To me you are still a priest. The leadership messed up, and does not understand what Jesus really taught.
Thank you - and just to clairify, I have only been married once. Its just that we have held it as a living growing changing experice and not an iron cage.
It’s so ironic that our church, which prides itself on the via media, suggests divorce, which Christ specifically spoke against, and condemns polyamory when polygyny was an accepted part of Jesus’ culture.
Thank you for this ... I mourn that we struggle to the point of deep wounding and excommunication with the truth that covenants can change as we learn about ourselves ... that a church that is supposedly "all about love" still cannot embody love triumphing over litigiousness. Blessings to you and yours.
Wow. Thank you BOTH for this. I mourn, too. There was a song we sang at guitar mass at the Catholic church I attended in Mill Valley, California. "They'll Know We Are Christians By Our Love." I believe that it is something we aspire, but fall painfully short of too much of the time. It makes what at one time felt like the safest spaces for everyone, feel not so safe after all. The love we sang about was unconditional. I have found that there are conditions after all and it breaks my heart.
Happy anniversary, and thank you so much for continuing to share your story of how you have evolved as an individual and within relationship. Following you has been such a source of support for me personally and as I accompany others. I’m grateful and I hope you celebrate and are celebrated today.
I remember those kids getting married! And I am in awe of your ability to keep your covenant and grow within it. The institution may never catch up - certainly not in our lifetimes - but you and your family are a beacon of light. I am so glad to still know you!
In so so many ways this post registered with me. Richard and I only got married because we had the same last name when we met and (long story) that became very problematic as people assumed we were married. After the "marriage" which include only the officiant and one witness - as we drove away Richard asked if I felt different... I said "nope" he said "me neither". I never wanted a governmental legal contract to define our love or our relationship. Would love to have a Portland coffee date and talk about all this. thanks so much for your honest sharing... including all the hypocrisy associated with Christian "covenants". I go to church because of a love of God... and because the music and many of the rituals are meditative and grounding for me.
Although I remain in the Episcopal Church, I believe that God is Love and Love is God and sanctions the marriage vows you have exchanged both times and all the vows are still valid. To me you are still a priest. The leadership messed up, and does not understand what Jesus really taught.
Ralph
Thank you - and just to clairify, I have only been married once. Its just that we have held it as a living growing changing experice and not an iron cage.
Happy anniversary!
It’s so ironic that our church, which prides itself on the via media, suggests divorce, which Christ specifically spoke against, and condemns polyamory when polygyny was an accepted part of Jesus’ culture.