I lean on Paul Tillich’s definition of God as one’s “object of ultimate concern “ because it stresses the act of choosing one’s god, rather than placing bets on what is true or not true about God (something above anyone’s pay grade). So when I hear “I have faith in…” I reframe it as “I choose to put my trust in…” This avoids debates about whether or not my object of ultimate concern exists apart from me and grounds me rather in my existential experience of the divine and my choice. It may well be that the universe is an unfeeling uncaring soup of random shit, but from where I stand, I choose to live with a trust in love as the ultimate concern for my life. Perhaps a pendantic distinction but it helps me avoid turning God into a static noun that exists independently from my experience.
It is so beautiful to see your love for Jesus and how you are continuing your faith! At the same time, I am truly sorry for the bad experiences you’ve had with the church. It makes complete sense why you felt the need to leave that environment, and I can totally understand because that is exactly where I used to be before I found the living reality of His word.
While the traditional church structure may have failed you, God is doing something completely new right now. As it says in Isaiah 43:19, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." There is truly only one place where His true work is unfolding today.
Throughout history, God has always operated through prophetic fulfillment. He spoke everything before it happened so that when it finally takes place, we can see it and truly believe. This aligns perfectly with John 14:29: "I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe." He is the same God yesterday, today, and always (Hebrews 13:8), and He is resolving everything right now.
Just as in the days of old, God chooses a specific path and message for His people. Revelation speaks clearly about the promises given to the one who overcomes. In Revelation 2:17, it says, "To the one who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it."
Because Revelation was written in parables and figurative language, we must have the specific blueprint to unlock the virtual and physical reality of what God is fulfilling today.
I would love to help you study this and walk into this next chapter with you. I completely relate to where you’ve been, and I'd love to share the blueprint that changed everything for me. Let me know if you'd be open to looking into it together!
I've read a couple of your pieces. You say the church doesn't want you anymore, but you very openly broke the rules, how do you reconcile both positions?
It seems like of a lot energy is spent lamenting not being a part of TEC. Do you attend services anymore or believe in Jesus Christ?
Hi, Kerlin. Thank you, as always. I think my faith is increasing, but less specific, if you get what I mean. Les tied to one sort of theology or religion. You know I'll always be an Episcopalian at heart, and when we talk we can use that language and talk about those ritual that you miss. When I left my parish (and I'm probably not going to join another, of any stripe) I did not give up on faith or God (as I understand God-- always a positive and loving power), or even the rituals when I have a chance o be part of them. Talk to you soon.
I think of Barbara Brown Taylor's book "Leaving Church" and while her experience is certainly different than yours, there are some parallels. Part of me wonders if these blog posts are the beginnings of a book? Sorry just thinking out loud and thankful for your sharing.
I was thinking the same! Kerlin's writing is eloquent, raw and so deeply honest. She's saying what we feel and put in our journals but she's putting it out there for us! Kerlin....read this! Your voice is a real and necessary, powerful, gentle voice. Your blog is a book
I lean on Paul Tillich’s definition of God as one’s “object of ultimate concern “ because it stresses the act of choosing one’s god, rather than placing bets on what is true or not true about God (something above anyone’s pay grade). So when I hear “I have faith in…” I reframe it as “I choose to put my trust in…” This avoids debates about whether or not my object of ultimate concern exists apart from me and grounds me rather in my existential experience of the divine and my choice. It may well be that the universe is an unfeeling uncaring soup of random shit, but from where I stand, I choose to live with a trust in love as the ultimate concern for my life. Perhaps a pendantic distinction but it helps me avoid turning God into a static noun that exists independently from my experience.
It is so beautiful to see your love for Jesus and how you are continuing your faith! At the same time, I am truly sorry for the bad experiences you’ve had with the church. It makes complete sense why you felt the need to leave that environment, and I can totally understand because that is exactly where I used to be before I found the living reality of His word.
While the traditional church structure may have failed you, God is doing something completely new right now. As it says in Isaiah 43:19, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." There is truly only one place where His true work is unfolding today.
Throughout history, God has always operated through prophetic fulfillment. He spoke everything before it happened so that when it finally takes place, we can see it and truly believe. This aligns perfectly with John 14:29: "I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe." He is the same God yesterday, today, and always (Hebrews 13:8), and He is resolving everything right now.
Just as in the days of old, God chooses a specific path and message for His people. Revelation speaks clearly about the promises given to the one who overcomes. In Revelation 2:17, it says, "To the one who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it."
Because Revelation was written in parables and figurative language, we must have the specific blueprint to unlock the virtual and physical reality of what God is fulfilling today.
I would love to help you study this and walk into this next chapter with you. I completely relate to where you’ve been, and I'd love to share the blueprint that changed everything for me. Let me know if you'd be open to looking into it together!
I've read a couple of your pieces. You say the church doesn't want you anymore, but you very openly broke the rules, how do you reconcile both positions?
It seems like of a lot energy is spent lamenting not being a part of TEC. Do you attend services anymore or believe in Jesus Christ?
Hi, Kerlin. Thank you, as always. I think my faith is increasing, but less specific, if you get what I mean. Les tied to one sort of theology or religion. You know I'll always be an Episcopalian at heart, and when we talk we can use that language and talk about those ritual that you miss. When I left my parish (and I'm probably not going to join another, of any stripe) I did not give up on faith or God (as I understand God-- always a positive and loving power), or even the rituals when I have a chance o be part of them. Talk to you soon.
Kerlin, I just wanted to say a simple “thank you” for your gentle and beautiful words.
The image of God that I hold has so much in common with yours.
Sending MUCH LOVE your way.
I think of Barbara Brown Taylor's book "Leaving Church" and while her experience is certainly different than yours, there are some parallels. Part of me wonders if these blog posts are the beginnings of a book? Sorry just thinking out loud and thankful for your sharing.
I was thinking the same! Kerlin's writing is eloquent, raw and so deeply honest. She's saying what we feel and put in our journals but she's putting it out there for us! Kerlin....read this! Your voice is a real and necessary, powerful, gentle voice. Your blog is a book
How do you reconcile your position on sexuality with the vows you took as a priest to adhere to the discipline of the Church?
Also, Kerlin, I loved your post and your writing!